This question has been nagging me lately. I know that there are people in my life that call me their friend. I'm not talking about one friend to get together with. (I know you are there for that any day, Jane.) I would like to have friendships with other couples who also have children and want an opportunity to fellowship and just hang out together. I have not found such a group yet.
Our church has a wonderful children's ministry. So wonderful, in fact, that I'm thinking about putting Lydia in the nursery now that she is 3 months old. With Catie we waited until she was 6 months, but I love these nursery workers.
The Youth department seems to have a solid base and is doing great things for the young people in the church.
The single's ministry has been going strong for a LONG time and was a facilitator in introducing my sister to her husband. (I have that ministry to thank for my beautiful niece and nephew.)
I know there is a Home Group ministry, but it doesn't seem possible to break into that except at certain intervals. We had to miss the last one b/c we had friends in from out of town. The person in charge of this was supposed to call us with information about groups we could be involved in, but that didn't happen. (This does not mean I won't try in the future.)
It seems that the young (and by "young" I mean under 45 at the risk of offending someone) married couples who have children are so busy that we fail to see the value in fellowshiping with "our own kind". I KNOW there are a TON of young families/couples in our church b/c I see them every week, but I don't see them getting together.
Some of the topics of Sunday morning worship have been about being a spectator in ministry/worship/etc. James and I started thinking about what we would like to do and it seems that there is a hole that needs to be filled and we could fill it. We have a large home/yard where families would feel welcomed without overcrowding. The question is: How do we get going? Who do we talk to? What would it look like to put something together? How often would/could it happen? Is summertime the best time to start this? (I guess that's more than one question.)
5 comments:
The peanut gallery speaks again. I would like to share my story rather that offer advice, take from it what you will. There was a period of 3 years that Dwayne and I were rather active at Victory, more him than myself but the relationships overflowed to me. I was just too busy at that time doing day care to value it. Now, I too desire a faith based social circle and have other giants in the way that certainly could be dissected. Dwayne participated in theater and served in visual arts, we were in 2 or 3 different home group studies over the 3 year period, oh and don’t forget Sunday school (Dwayne went to his and I went to mine) it was through this activity that relationships were created. Then came invites, picnics, parties...pop-inns.... fellowship. At the time, all that was a little much for me. THEN, Dwayne got a job and we moved...bla, bla, bla. All of the above took 2 huge things (among others) that Dwayne is much better at then I am; self-sacrifice and transparency. Ok, with that said, I will pray that you will find at Victory what you are looking for, I believe it is there. I ask in return that you pray that God continues to show me the giants that face me and that He gives me the wisdom to defeat them.
Jean--I'm not saying that I am unwilling to be involved in current ministry opportunities. I think, though, that, if it's important to have child-specific, youth-specific, single-specific, elderly-specific ministries, then why not have young family-specific ministry. There are opportunities that James and I can and have gotten involved in, but since Lydia's birth those things have been put on hold. Now it seems to be time to get more involved and we/I feel that we no longer should be spectators. There are no excuses for uninvolvement except those that go along with having small children, so why not do away with that excuse by including it in the solution for us and for others.
tarah- a young family ministry is a great idea. Rereading the post I see now that is what you were communicating. When we were participating in home groups, we chose child friendly ones, but even then we took a babysitter or contributed to one. That alone became time consuming and troublesome. It would be nice to go to a home group that was family focused and that in which the whole family could be involved. Imagine the dynamics! What a challenge. I think that the children’s ministry tries to fill this gap the best they can with seasonal events and specials, but often times these are so large that intimacy is imposable. With that said my best guess is that Pastor Kurt would be the go to guy. I would be interested in hearing about this journey of yours if you proceed with it. If anything, I hope that my blabberings have given you something fresh, for they have given me something to do.
You won't find that group, you have to make that group. In todays culture, we are too busy with life and schedules.
You could start with inviting one family up for dinner. Find someone who is in your same stage of life. (invite 2 couples maybe). you will need to invite the same couple more than once before you will have them return the favor. Smile
Let them see how fun it is to spend time with you and Family. Let them feel welcomed. Call them through out the week.
Yes, it is going to be YOU doing all the work. but the rewards will be great!!!! You will have some great friends in the end.
This takes time!!!!!!!!!!
What else do we have though. hahaha
Oh, Tarah...I wish we were staying in the area!! I think we'd have a blast together!!! And I'll totally agree with you on this whole topic, really. We've felt the same way over the past 5 or 6 years, and what we've found, unfortunately, is that it's the families of young children who are absolutely the busiest, and can't make time in their schedules amidst the activities of their children/jobs/etc. to make room for other couples, especially on a consistent basis. It's those families who wind up with sick kids on home group nights, recitals and games on children's min. event nights, and overcommitting themselves and finding themselves drowning. If you figure something out, let me know. I think Victory is seriously missing out in this ministry area. We all need to step up and say something out loud.
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