Taking the bad with the good

Autumn is my favorite time of year. I love the colors as the trees change. I love the smell of the crisp air. I love knowing that soon I will be cozy and warm b/c of the fire burning in the furnace. I love the possibility of being snowed in for days with my family. I love driving in the snow. I love the anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's Eve. I love that the fall brings Catie's birthday on November 3rd. (She will be 2 this year.) I love the end of mowing the lawn and the beginning of raking leaves to play in. I love sweaters and sweatshirts and winter coats. I love feeding the birds.

Autumn is my least favorite time of year. I hate that every time I turn around I am reminded of loss. I hate that autumn brings death.

Today would've been Andrew's 33rd birthday. Last night I cried and James just held me like the wonderful, supportive husband that he is. He knows that my tears are not a reflection of a lack of love for him, but simply a representation of the sorrow I feel over the loss I experienced 7 years ago. Has it really been that long? I hurt for Andy's family, especially on days like today.

Autumn is hard. This time of year gives me so much to smile about, but then it also gives me reminders of something that's missing. Andrew's surgery was on October 22nd and he died on November 2nd. I know the crying is not over this season and will return next year at about the same time, but I'm okay with that. It's good to remember. Through my crying I am allowing myself to mourn. I promised myself that I would grieve well and I will continue to do so when I have moments like last night, b/c those moments only come once or twice a year. And the grief reminds me of all that is to come when death finds me and I get to spend eternity in Heaven with my Lord and my Andrew.

cousins

I watched Ross and Magdelene while my sister and her husband went away for their anniversary recently. Here are a few pictures of the fun.

Morning snack, a little "Tigger and Pooh", and a break for Aunt Tarah/Mommy.
This is a doll stroller. They were having so much fun riding around the house on all the toys. (This is why I buy toys at garage sales. Then I don't have to worry about them getting ruined.) It got a little loud. (see previous picture for solution!!!)
I let the kids play with one of my old stethoscopes. This is one of the quiet moments.

The kids really play well together and I have found that when Catie has older kids come play she learns more of how to play with her toys. Do other moms see this? I sometimes think that if I got down on the floor and played with her more often she would know how to play, but I still think there is a huge benefit to her playing with other children. They play different than adults. So, who knows something about early childhood development? Is she learning how to play from other children better than she could learn from me?

some favorite recipes

I cooked and baked today, so I thought I would share what I did.

Stern's Chicken

2 cups vinegar
1 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/4 cup salt (yes, 1/4 CUP)
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
1 TBSP Poultry Seasoning

Mix it together and marinate chicken overnight and grill to perfection. When I was growing up we used to have chicken like this at family reunions. My mom got the recipe from the company sometime in the past year and I make it quite regularly. Leftovers are great too.


I also made some Pumpkin Whoopie Pies for my husband, who, although he doesn't eat desserts much, will eat anything made with pumpkin.

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp salt

5 eggs
1 can (15 oz) solid-pack pumpkin
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla extract


In a large bowl, combine the dry ingredients. In another bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients and stir into the dry until moistened.

Drop by 2 tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart onto greased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool.

Cream cheese filling for cookies

4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract

In a small bowl, beat the filling ingredients until smooth. Spread over the bttom of half of the cookies, top with remaining cookies. Store in refridgerator.

yields 2 dozen.

Farm City Day

....I don't understand the name either, but that's what it was called.

Catie looking at the animals. She was a little more shy than I thought she would be.
There were 3 of these pulled by a 4-wheeler. What a great idea!! The kids loved it.
Ross has never had fear of animals.

Mima pushing Maggie and Catie in a stroller.

The farm was HUGE. My grandpa was a farmer and so was my mom's uncle, so I grew up at farms, but this was so big...and high tech!!! There were easily 1000 cows at this place. It was also a windfarm. Check out the size of that windmill compared to those cars (the windmill is quite a ways BEYOND the parking lot.) There's been a lot of controversy over these windmills. This area was actually NOT the first choice, but the other place they wanted to put them was a wealthier area and was able to fight them in court. Here's my political view: Those wealthy people (who were only going to be affected by the view of the windmills) are probably the same people who "care" about the environment and believe in global warming. "Fix the world, hug a tree, but not the one in my back yard." The windmills are helping to promote energy independence. It's a good thing...and quite fascinating to see.

Reading

another catie quote

mommy: Can you do it? (refering to a task I gave Catie.)

Catie: Sure can.

(Who says that?!)

Good dog, BEAUTIFUL girl

check out the background...

We found this spot with a beautiful view. We don't know who owns the land, but we drove out into the field, thankful that it was still just a field, but still wondering why noone has thought to build a home here. There are 360 degree views. It's breathtaking.

milestones

Lydia got a tooth and is working on the next one. Here she is showing it off.

We discovered (about a month ago) that Catie's hair is long enough to put in a single pony-tail. I love it up like this. If I had never been pressured to cut her bangs, they would be long enough to fit in also. Oh well, it will reach soon.

I hit 31 and James took me out on a dinnerboat cruise on Keuka Lake. It was beautiful. I had never seen that area of the lake before.
Our first trip to the Steuben County Fair with Catie. My parents were there along with my sister and her family. Catie and Ross have no fear when it comes to animals. We stayed that night to watch the monster trucks. Catie kept saying "monser trucks jumping". (and yes, I do know how to spell monster, but that's how she pronounced it.) (they were so loud!!!!) That was a month ago and Catie still talks about those trucks. When asked what monster trucks do, she says "they jump". And when asked what they jump over she says "cars". James bought her a matchbox monster truck and taught her how to set up her matchbox cars for the truck to jump.
I'm really slow about posting. All of these things happened at the end of August. I hope you don't mind.

2 down....1 to go

We had a nice visit to Virginia. Lydia ended up with an ear infection the morning of the day we were supposed to leave so we made a quick trip to the Dr., got a 10 day supply of antibiotics and started on our way. I ended up sick on saturday morning and slept while Lydia slept. James and Catie played in the rain from Hurricane Hannah. Mom and Dad took pictures.

Weekend #2: I went to camp for Ladies Retreat. Lydia was supposed to stay with Jane for the weekend, but on Friday morning she called and said Janelle was sick during the night. I spent the day trying to come up with another option. The best one I found was taking her with me, but James stepped up and said that he would keep both girls. This meant that he was not going to get things done like he had wanted. As much as he adores those girls, I know that it was a sacrifice on some level for him to do that.

I had a good weekend and even got to go shopping for an hour BY MYSELF. I realized how much I miss my alone time without responsibility. I have alone time when the girls are napping, but they are still there and I have to always be thinking about them and listening for them and worrying about them (b/c that's what I do). James did a great job and proved to himself that he is capable of having them both and doing well. I think it turned out to be easier than he thought it would be. Well....everything except those poopie diapers!!!

Next weekend starts on Friday when I have Ross and Maggie all day. And James leaves for Virginia. It will be a long weekend, but I have a few things planned.

the weekends are spilling into the weeks

September is going to be a busy month. We had a great time at camp last weekend. The girls loved it, but they are still recovering. We leave tomorrow for Virginia to gather up some of James's belongings at his parents' house so they can pack up their house to move north. We also plan to try to see some of his old buddies since we won't be back down there for a long time. They need to meet Lydia and some of them want to see Catie again (cause she's so cute). We don't plan to be home until Monday evening and then I will take 3 days to settle in and pack AGAIN!!! I leave for a Ladies Retreat at camp. The original plan was for James to stay home with both girls for the weekend, but Jane has offered to take Lydi. That will work out better, so James can still work around the house, and Catie could use the one-on-one time with Daddy. The weekend after that, James will head back to Virginia to pack his parents' stuff into a truck and help them drive to NY. Meanwhile, I will be watching Ross and Maggie so my sister and her husband can go away for the weekend. I won't have them on Saturday and Sunday, but I will have them on Friday and Monday. That takes us to the final weekend of the month. Nothing is planned yet. I have no doubt that it will fill up eventually.

I'm a little overwhelmed now that I've written all that out. Pray for me this month. I've not been handling stress really well recently.

a quote from Catie

Mommy (at about noon): "Catie, what time is it? "

Catie: "5:30."

(I was expecting her to say "naptime" like she usually does.)