the leaves are turning....continually

I'm turning over a new leaf and it's not even fall!! I am deciding that THIS IS MY LIFE and I need to deal with it. I need to not expect it to change in a moment. I need to "sit up, uncross my arms and act like the woman of God that I know I am". I am generally a frustrated mom, but WHY? Nothing will change with my frustration or yelling or anything else. When I deal with my children in a appropriate manner...meaning appropriate punishment, voice volume, smile on my face, etc....they respond so much better. Plus, I'm not teaching them bad habits when I'm acting like a grown-up.

This morning my friend Danielle came up to the house with her 3 young boys. Tyrus is 3, Teddy is 2, and Denton is 1 month. She has her hands full. She has BOYS!! I have girls. How much easier should my life be than hers?! And she's so patient and loving to them. I'm sure she'll tell you she has her moments, but she's a great mom. I look at her and I cut her a lot of slack (not that she needs it) that I don't give myself (or my kids). So, I'm going to view my life differently....I'm a mom. of 3. soon to be 4. and I need to stop being a baby and deal with it. I need to be the mom that I WANT to be because it's not just going to magically happen.

smiles

We're happy. In just a few short days James will start his new day job. It's been a long 9 months since we found out that we would be dealing with this chaos. I still remember the moment when James got off the phone and told me. I had only been home with Miriam for a week after the delivery and I sat down on the couch and cried. I knew it would be difficult. It has. It's been more difficult that I imagined. I thought I was stronger. I wanted to THRIVE, but all I did was SURVIVE. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm glad I at least survived, but I lost a lot of confidence in myself as a mom, a wife, and a daughter of God. My marriage is strong. My children love me. And my God is faithful even when I am not. For those things I am grateful. And for those reasons I will smile. And on Monday, June 7th, James will clock in at a much smaller facility, working for a man who attends our church and is flexible regarding the shift James will work. 6am-2pm is our choice. Also, this facility is going nowhere. In this economy there are always rumors about facilities shutting down and jobs being lost, but the place James will be working has some pretty reliable job security. All other Corning facilities rely on the product made at this particular place. It's a job he could (and probably WILL) have for the next 20 or 30 years and quite possibly will retire from. Of course, life is life and things happen, but for now we are happy with the possibility/probability of job security. And definitely happily looking forward to evenings and weekends with the most important man in our lives.