What we've been up to...

Miriam turned ONE in August. Man! that girl can eat cake!!!

and she figured out the best way to clean off the excess....

We had family pictures taken. These are some I took of the girls before our friend Paul came to do the real ones. If you're looking for a GREAT photographer in the Rochester, NY, area check out his website. www.north40photography.com

We hosted a Brewster family reunion. This is most of the kiddos that were there. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. I can't wait for next year.

Catie started school. and LOVES it. (I think she might be the teacher's favorite, but shhhh....don't tell.)

My Kitchen went from this....

to this.......

And I went from this....

To this....

Silas Paul was added to our crew on 10-7-10. Nine minutes before his due date. We were hoping he'd hold out until Sunday, October 10, 2010. Our doctor even agreed to induce me on that day if I wasn't already in labor, but there would be no 10-10-10 birthday for our son. He's still pretty special if you ask me.



So, there you have it: a few good reasons for me to be MIA since July. What's your excuse?

is there anybody out there?

July? JULY?!

How did this happen?

Is it even worth posting again? you tell me.

little life lessons

Have you ever had a day when you realize how obsolete you've become in certain lives and at the same time have an epiphany of how important you are in other lives? That happened to me recently while at the wedding of a friend. It was a girl I had mentored and become friends with during my time at IWU as her RD/boss/friend. Almost my entire staff was part of the wedding party or attended the wedding. I consider these girls to be part of the most important years of my life, but I noticed that I don't seem to hold the same place in theirs. This is certainly no reflection of negative feelings toward any of these wonderful young women. I know that I am their friend and they love me. It is simply an observation that they have each other and I am not a part of the inner circle.

HOWEVER, I have a (much smaller) inner circle right here in my own home. I prefer dealing with college age girls, but one day these 3 little ones will be there and NOW is when I need to be setting the ground work for our relationship so that I can be an important part of their lives when they are in high school and college. They will have friends, but I hope they always come back to me with their real problems and needs.

Maybe, though, this is just a foreshadowing of things to come. I was the "mother" of the girls at IWU. They were "sisters". I guess it wouldn't be so bad if my girls loved me, but could rely on each other as best friends in their times of need. Only time will tell how our relationships will evolve. I'm just glad to have the chance to experience them in my life as much as I am grateful to have had the chance to know the girls from Shatford House.

the leaves are turning....continually

I'm turning over a new leaf and it's not even fall!! I am deciding that THIS IS MY LIFE and I need to deal with it. I need to not expect it to change in a moment. I need to "sit up, uncross my arms and act like the woman of God that I know I am". I am generally a frustrated mom, but WHY? Nothing will change with my frustration or yelling or anything else. When I deal with my children in a appropriate manner...meaning appropriate punishment, voice volume, smile on my face, etc....they respond so much better. Plus, I'm not teaching them bad habits when I'm acting like a grown-up.

This morning my friend Danielle came up to the house with her 3 young boys. Tyrus is 3, Teddy is 2, and Denton is 1 month. She has her hands full. She has BOYS!! I have girls. How much easier should my life be than hers?! And she's so patient and loving to them. I'm sure she'll tell you she has her moments, but she's a great mom. I look at her and I cut her a lot of slack (not that she needs it) that I don't give myself (or my kids). So, I'm going to view my life differently....I'm a mom. of 3. soon to be 4. and I need to stop being a baby and deal with it. I need to be the mom that I WANT to be because it's not just going to magically happen.

smiles

We're happy. In just a few short days James will start his new day job. It's been a long 9 months since we found out that we would be dealing with this chaos. I still remember the moment when James got off the phone and told me. I had only been home with Miriam for a week after the delivery and I sat down on the couch and cried. I knew it would be difficult. It has. It's been more difficult that I imagined. I thought I was stronger. I wanted to THRIVE, but all I did was SURVIVE. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm glad I at least survived, but I lost a lot of confidence in myself as a mom, a wife, and a daughter of God. My marriage is strong. My children love me. And my God is faithful even when I am not. For those things I am grateful. And for those reasons I will smile. And on Monday, June 7th, James will clock in at a much smaller facility, working for a man who attends our church and is flexible regarding the shift James will work. 6am-2pm is our choice. Also, this facility is going nowhere. In this economy there are always rumors about facilities shutting down and jobs being lost, but the place James will be working has some pretty reliable job security. All other Corning facilities rely on the product made at this particular place. It's a job he could (and probably WILL) have for the next 20 or 30 years and quite possibly will retire from. Of course, life is life and things happen, but for now we are happy with the possibility/probability of job security. And definitely happily looking forward to evenings and weekends with the most important man in our lives.

This is for Aunt Rachel.....

This was the surprise I saw in January. Yep....JANUARY. And that means I'm due in October. And that means my little ones will be 14 months apart. And that means this wasn't planned by us. God has a wonderful sense of humor, doesn't He?

We are excited about this baby, and also a bit nervous. I know I'm going to get the stares, the comments, and the "tsk-tsks" (i think the stares have already started). I'm trying to prepare myself for that. I'm trying to remember that GOD ORDAINED THIS LITTLE ONE and no matter what people say or do, nothing will change my love for ALL of my children or my desire for them.

If I can ever figure out how my scanner works I will post a picture of the ultrasound. In the meantime you can be entertained by the "you're crazy" comments on FB. enjoy!

am i just being selfish?

My ideal Mother's Day does not include snow. or my husband working all day. or disobedient children. or sore throats for mommy. or runny noses/ear infections for babies. or laundry. or dirty kitchens in need of order. or whiney children. or snow. (oh, i mentioned that already, did I?)

My ideal Mother's Day would include a beautiful sun-filled morning. sleeping-in past my children. breakfast in bed with coffee, eggs, and bacon. a relaxing shower. church. a picnic lunch that I didn't prepare. naptime for the kiddos. flowers and a card with a note from my husband about how great of a mom I am. handmade cards by my children saying they love me. a nice dinner at home since every restaurant in town is mobbed with mommies. and an evening of spending time with my children and husband. bedtime. then a special chocolate dessert with a glass of sparkling grape juice (since I don't drink). and, finally, a good night's sleep.

I have expectations. My family thinks I'm difficult to please, but really I just want a little thought and preparation put into the day. There are 2 days of the year that I expect to be ALL ABOUT ME: my birthday and Mother's Day.

I know the value in celebrating my mom for all she has done in the past and all she does for me today. She is willing to watch my girls at the drop of a hat so I can have a break. And sometimes she doesn't even have to be asked, so just offers. I love that! But, her days of strictly being a mom are done. She is a grandma, a secretary, a wife, a friend, but her role as mom is not her primary role anymore. I went to the Mother-Daughter Banquet at her church with her on Friday evening. It was great to spend that time with her, but I don't plan to see her ON Mother's day.

I feel selfish about this every year, but I know she understands. My PRIMARY ROLE IS LIFE right now is to be a mom. That role consumes me 365 days a year. I am responsible. Is it too much to ask that TODAY be a celebration of my mommy-ness?