days off vs. time off.

I have been complaining that I don't get time off. I know, I know...I chose this life. Being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, and since most of you who read this are mom's and many of you stay at home, you understand what I'm talking about. I feel blessed to be able to do this, but there have been times when I would rather go to work OUTSIDE the home. Then I remind myself that what I am doing has eternal value. Plus, how would I get anything done if I'm away from home for 8+ hours of the day. There would still be dishes, laundry, cleaning, playing, meals, etc., etc.

James just got done with 3 days off. This new schedule doesn't give him many days off so it was a blessing to have, but I got grumpy at the beginning of the weekend and began complaining that I don't get time off. (and forget about getting a day or a weekend off.) There was no end in sight to my days of work...that's discouraging.

My perspective is ALL wrong though. I say that I view our marriage as a team effort, but I don't see him as part of the team. Even when he is home I consider the girls my responsibility. I consider the cleaning my responsibility. I consider everything MY responsibility. This isn't right. He reminded me that when he is gone the house and everything in it is 100% mine to care for, but when he is home, I get a bit of a break....I don't have to do EVERYTHING on my own. We are a team and he is here to help wherever he can. And he does, but the problem has been in my own head.

So, I'm turning over a new leaf. It may not be a New Year's resolution, but it's a change. When he is home I won't allow myself to try to do everything. I will rely on him more to occupy the girls while I do dishes. Or to pick up Miriam when she is fussing, so I can finish folding laundry. My time off happens when they are sleeping and I will use that time more wisely so that I can handle the rest of life when they are awake.

This is life and I better just get used to it or I'm going to be miserable for a very long time.